By Ryan Decker
It’s time to get our your sleeping pills boys and girls, the NFL Pro Bowl is this weekend and you’re going to want to miss it.
The National Football League’s annual all-star game is by far the worst of the Big 4 professional sports leagues. This thing is so bad that hosting it in Hawaii – one of the top vacation and destination spots in the United States – could only hold the game’s appeal, or lack thereof, for so long.
This year’s Pro Bowl will be played in Orlando, Florida with the possibility there will be more players on the field than fans in the stands and people watching at home.
OK, maybe that’s an exaggeration on my part, but if you watch this thing you deserve an award or a key to a city near year.
By now I’m sure you can tell I won’t be tuning in, so here’s a list of things I’d rather do than watch the Pro Bowl.
- Take an upper-level physics exam
- Bet my life savings on the Cleveland Browns to not have a Top 10 pick in the 2018 NFL Draft (before trades).
- Be drafted by the Cleveland Browns. (We all know it’s a punishment.)
- Sit on the runway inside an airplane next to a crying baby
- Get punched in the face by George Foreman (highlights)
- Go on an African safari to a place with no cell service or Internet during March Madness and miss everything that happened
- Watch my favorite team blow a 3-1 series lead
- Be stuck in Morgantown game-day traffic in the snow with only ¼ tank of gas for 3 hours (I’ve done this before, it’s not fun at all. I wouldn’t recommend it at all)
- Attend a Week 1 Preseason game between the Jacksonville Jaguars and Chicago Bears
- Listen to every Taylor Swift song on repeat
- Run naked onto Lambeau Field in the middle of December
- Go clubbing with Johnny Manziel … and get caught
- Watch the entirety of the NIT tournament
- Change bodies with Bill Buckner during the 1986 World Series
- Get chewed out by Nick Saban on the Alabama sidelines
Well, there you have it.
A complete list of things I, and probably most sports fans, would rather do than watch the Pro Bowl.
Maybe some of you will participate in one of these this weekend instead of watching the NFL all-star game.
Editor’s note: The Pro Bowl and all its problems were discussed on Friday’s episode of Moose-Talkas with Joel Norman, Nick Perillo and myself. Other sports-related issues were also discussed.